It is unfortunate to know that most people (about 80 percent) have let go of their New Year’s resolutions by the second week in February! It is important to learn the art of resilience, as it can help with sticking to and reaching goals. Nothing worth doing is ever going to be easy the whole way through. Preparing for conflict helps you push through the hard times where most people give up. Resilience is a must for life in general, shaping our relationships with people, work/life balance, sports, and money. A partner for life is one that is trusted to be there through thick and thin, and resilience plays a big role in holding it all together.
Jean Fitzpatrick is a relationship therapist living in Manhattan who has some excellent input about resilience and relationships. So, what are the benefits of resilient couples according to her?
They can work together to mend conflict
Resilient couples are more inclined to work together to fix a problem instead of focusing on who is right or wrong. They are more understanding and as a result, keep moving their relationship forward.
A more resilient state of mind
Practice makes perfect. Sometimes people get swept up in the negative, but the more they practice resilience the easier it is to deal with it and get back to focusing on what is important. Some people find that a walk around the block, or deep breathing, or an open conversation can help them get back to a better state of mind.
Resilient couples become more aware of their triggers
Everyone experiences challenge and conflict, however, the more couples practice resilience the more awareness they obtain in recognizing their triggers like increased heart rate and shallow breathing. Being more aware of these moments helps one to take a step back, and incorporate calming techniques before the body goes into a state of emergency.
They rely on each other
Fitzpatrick says that it is more common for men to get defensive than women during arguments, and it is more likely for a woman to be overly critical or express feeling as more of a demand when upset. Practicing resilience enables couples to learn these things about each other and rely on one another for strength where they may be lacking.